June 19, 2011 – Father’s Day 2011

Revelation 3:15-16

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ¹⁵ “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! ¹⁶ But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!

Today is a tough day.  The other holidays we’ve experienced since Hannah’s death weren’t any better or worse than our new “normal” days but today has been different.   I’ve had a rough time concentrating, felt emotionally horrible and decided right away not to go to church or deal with people today in person as didn’t want to fake my way through life. 

I really feel one of the reasons that God has allowed the things that have happened to us in the past year is  to show those who we know or come into our paths, that God is good all of the time REGARDLESS of circumstances, suffering and even death!  And He wants us to express ourselves honestly, openly and to be genuine not fake! 

Last year just before Father’s Day, I read a book that really opened my eyes and with it, the Holy Spirit changed my perspective on life and showed me what a lukewarm Christian and person I had become & was.  The book is “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan and I highly recommend it.   

At the end of Chapter 5, Francis wrote this:  “Are you willing to say to God that He can have whatever He wants?  Do you believe that whole hearted commitment to Him is more important than any other thing or person in your life?  Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter; unless it is about loving God and loving the people He has made?”

This hit me like a lightning bolt and after praying, reflecting and discussing with Amy, our lives would not be the same.  From all worldly appearances, we had it all – marriage, two healthy kids, stable job, house, friends, family & church, etc.  But the question that haunted me was – would we give it all up for Jesus like he commands?  

Prior to this moment, I’m not sure what our answer would be as knew we were followers of  Jesus but also had longings for this world!  Fortunately, the answer was as clear as sparkling water – YES and from that point you will see that God was on the move!  Oh, we had no idea! 

The Hannah Happenings section of the website is where we will be recording the movements from that point to the present time and hope to update those starting next week.  

Fast forward a year, so much has changed.  Our sweet healthy daughter died to such a rare cancer with no definite reasoning from the brightest doctors, Jacob had a double whammy loss of his sister and his best friend, our entire family has faced all sorts of health issues never experienced in our lives, the ongoing schooling of Jacob changed from home school to public school, all sorts of relationship changes within our family, friends and church, career change and the list goes on! 

The most significant change is the most important change – we are no longer lukewarm in our pursuit and love of Jesus!  We don’t care what the world thinks anymore as this temporary world will pass away but with faith in Jesus, we will live in eternity with God!  We have a genuine hunger for God, his Word and an overall eternal perspective!  Praise God! 

We still struggle like crazy with doubt, lack of faith, sin, poor decision making and overall typical human shortcomings but more than ever feel the overwhelming love of Jesus and know that all these events of the past year are for good and for the Glory of God!  Sounds weird huh?  I would have thought it was weird if I heard that in the past but now I know it is TRUE! I’m not sure why God chose us for this journey but even when I question Him, I know that He is God and we are not!  To Him Be The Glory!  

So if you are still here and reading my ramblings, here is the summary on this tough Father’s Day – we miss our daughter Hannah with every ounce of our soul, we miss her laugh, we miss her mischievous nature, we miss hearing her and Jacob talking, playing and even fighting, we miss her creativity, we miss her loving and caring spirit and mostly we just miss sharing this earthly life with her but that’s not the end of the story! 

We WILL see her again and spend eternity with her and our loving Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus!  And that is one Father’s Day gift that is worth the wait! Hannah – we love you & will keep plugging away down here until we see you again my sweetie! 

In Hope,

Bill