When we moved back down to Allen, TX now four years ago, it was a lonely time for Hannah as we were moving to a new city with not many friends or family members down here. That coupled with the fact we home schooled due to her food allergies, left her quite lonely with the exception of playing with her little brother Jacob. Hannah is a creative soul and person who when put in that situation, would make up games and adapt to the situation on hand.
August in Texas for whatever reason produces dragonflies and that year in 2007 was no exception. They were flying around our backyard like crazy and Hannah would go outside in the heat every day and talk to her favorite dragonfly – Percy! Why the name Percy and what made her name it that? I have no idea. Maybe Amy does but for me, it was bit unusual but really cool and creative! She would chase after Percy who seemed to come back each afternoon, she would talk with it, point at it and generally become good friends with this strange flying insect!
For us as a family, this past summer outside of the time of Hannah’s illness and death, has been one trial after another. Some of the trials we’ve posted on the blog and some we’ve kept very private. The trials ranged from sickness, injuries, loss of relationships, work related challenges to just plain loneliness and grief over Hannah’s death. It seems to me when we open up more, then we either are viewed as whining & complaining or looked on with pity so at times throughout, we’ve contemplated many things from ending this blog to actually moving away from here to a new place.
Each time after prayer, God seems to direct us back to stay here and do the best of dealing with the trials at hand and the heartbreak and the utter loneliness as our hope is not in this earthly temporary world rather in the glorious eternal heaven! Amy & I have been discussing our focus on the eternal of late and again we were reminded of this fact today with the sermon message at Grace Church! It was unbelievable today that our private discussions of the last few days was the topic of today’s guest sermon! Again, God knowing our situation and trials provides just the right thing for us at the right time in the right setting!
Earlier this summer on one of the worst days emotionally, physically and spiritually of literally my life, I cried out to God to provide some hope and just something! Nothing immediately happened although honestly with all that God has done for us through the trial of Hannah’s death, I was expecting something! An earthquake perhaps, a voice from above, etc. I wasn’t sure but was expecting something. Well, nothing happened that day. That day.
A few days later, we get a strange notecard in the mail. I was going to throw it away but decide to open it. In the professionally made card, the following message was written:
In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their groups ever came back after crawling up the stems of the lilies to the top of the water. They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what happened to him. Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface: he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings. In vain, he tried to keep his promise. Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below. Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number. The fact we cannot see our loved ones or communicate with them after the transformation, which we call death, is no proof that they cease to exist. – Walter Dudley Cavert
For those that know me, I absolutely dislike “little cute bumper-sticker stories” and to be totally transparent, I am extremely judgemental about people who write them and people who read them. I’m not proud of that as it isn’t a Christ-like quality and I’m sure Jesus is saddened with my behavior in that manner. However, on this day after such trials and pleading with God for something, anything of hope to get me through the day after intense grieving about Hannah, this was PERFECT! A story of a dragonfly from an organization called The Dragonfly Project who I don’t believe has any religious affiliation sent to a family in Texas “randomly” during dragonfly season during the lowest of lowest periods of life helped provide exactly what was needed! HOPE! FOCUS ON ETERNAL not the temporary! And also by the way during this emotional and spiritual lift, provided a life lesson to one judgemental soul – ME! Only Jesus could do both!
Last and certainly not least was the dragonfly key chain provided. Attached is a picture of this keychain. Cute yeah. Cheap, yeah probably. But take a closer look at it again – it hit me like a baseball bat to the head! A cross! Yes, a cross can be seen within the dragonfly! For me at least, it symbolizes the death of Jesus who died for our sins and provides to all of us who believe and have faith an eternal life! A life that will definitely include times again of playing with my sweet, creative and beautiful Hannah and who knows, maybe a special dragonfly friend named Percy!
Praise, Glory & Honor to Jesus!
Bill
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