For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. Romans 8:24-25

March 15, 2015 – Grief & Suffering – What NOT To Say

Great discussion on what NOT to say to someone who is grieving.

Add a comment

December 20, 2014 – Advice

Something to remember when you know someone who is grieving is that they don’t always need/want your “advice”… they need your time, compassion and love.  So many times over the past four years when we have talked to people about our feelings, or how we have been treated through our grief process, they have given us their take on things or have played devil’s advocate.  We’re sure that they thought they were being helpful, but it has been incredibly hurtful and often times, to be honest, has just made us angry.  So many people just walked away from us, and many of them probably didn’t know what to do or say, so they just did nothing….but remember, it’s not about having the answers, it’s about being there.

Often, the best thing to say, is nothing, just be there.

 

Add a comment

December 16, 2014 – What Grievers Need to Remember

Following is a recent blog post at Griefminister.com, we have not met him, however we follow his blog and thought this would be helpful to share….
What Grievers Need to Remember This Holiday Season
  • You should not be alone during the holidays.
  • Love does not end with death. Your relationship with your loved one continues.
  • You need to talk about your grief. Don’t be afraid to share what you think, feel & need during the holidays.
  • You need to know & honor your limitations during special days. Set your expectations low…not too high.
  • You should eliminate unnecessary stress. Build in time for yourself & your needs.
  • You need to be with supportive, comforting people. Limit your time with people who are difficult to deal with or who cause you stress.
  • You have an emotional need to mention the name of the person who has died.
  • You need to tell others what is right for you during the holidays…what is comforting & what is painful.
  • You should plan ahead for gatherings.
  • You ought to embrace your treasure of memories.
  • You should reflect on why you & others celebrate these special days. Make them filled with meaning & purpose.
  • You should depend upon the resources available to you through your faith.
  • Mourning in a healthy way during the holidays will help you heal & move toward reconciliation.

Written by Larry M. Barber, LPC-S, CT, author of Love Never Dies: Embracing Grief with Hope and Promise which is available online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.  The book is also available for purchase for Kindle and Nook.  Direct purchase can be made of the book from http://grief-works.org/book.php.

 

Add a comment