July 3, 2012 – Dancing with dragonflies

This morning our backyard was filled with dozens of beautiful dragonflies…flying, diving and dancing around.  I have not seen that many dragonflies since Hannah used to dance with them each afternoon in the summer.  It was always an amazing sight to watch Hannah dancing and swirling around the backyard with dragonflies flying all around her.  If you have been reading our blog for a while you may remember Bill’s blog about Percy the Dragonfly (if not, please take a minute to read it http://thehopeofhannah.com/2011/08/14/percy-the-dragonfly-sunday-august-14-2011/  ).  Hannah had a particular dragonfly named “Percy” that was her favorite and he came back everyday.  As I watched the dragonflies I had such great memories of Hannah, and was just standing there thanking God for sending them. 

I felt so strongly that this was one of those Holy Spirit led moments that I’m supposed to blog about.  I got my phone to take a picture to add to the blog, but they were swirling too fast to get a shot.  I stood still near our garden and kept thinking one would land on something and stop long enough for me to get a shot, but it wasn’t happening.  I starting praying, Lord, do you want me to take a picture and write about this…if this is from You please let me know.  Just as I was finishing my prayer this beautiful dragonfly landed right in front of me. 

Later this morning I went to get my hair cut, as I sat down and looked around I noticed that the hook they used to hold the mirror on the side of the cabinet was a dragonfly.  A very sweet girl was doing my hair, when she suddenly became ill and had to leave (which they said has never happened), so someone else took over.  As we were having a really nice conversation, the almost inevitable, but dreaded question came up, “How many kids do you have?”  I braced myself and answered, two and told her about Hannah…she immediately said “I’m so sorry.”  then added “I lost my son when he was 11, he would be 35…you don’t ever get over it, you just get better at talking about it.”  Wow!  That was something I so needed to hear, it’s not just me, you don’t get over it!  I often get the feeling (or someone will say as much) that people think it’s time to move on or it’s been so long now, aren’t you over it yet?  I thank the Lord for showing me today that I am not alone.  You don’t get over it, but you do go on.

As we have gone through the rest of the day we have had several other things happen that I won’t get into here, but God  is moving, not sure of where He is taking us with this, but we are trying to be still, listen and obey.   Even though I know I’ll never get over the loss of Hannah here on this earth…I’ll continue to live for the One who died for us…while still longing for the day, when on the new earth we can all dance with Hannah, the dragonflies and Jesus!

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